What is Normal?

Credit to: Warner Bros

Have you seen "The Accountant" trailer? One thing for sure, there's a catch phrase that I like, "Define normal."

For years, I've been battling my surrounding about what is normal. Most of my raport book from childhood to teenager been filled with "Lack of social skills and tend to be a loner" comments from various teachers. Extended family me for being "abnormal". "Normal" people, according to them, should be socialized and have a lot of friends. 

Little did they know, I don't have interest in making communications with a bunch of people. Especially the ones that demand affection. Showing affection towards other could be burdensome for me. I believe, the more communication, the more potential problems. Well, maybe I should correct that words. Communication is fine if its only on objective matter, such as biology; arts; neuroscience; etc. It is consider NOT fine when they demanding emotional attachment. Frankly speaking, I don't even have affection towards family. Sometimes, it is haunted me whether is it normal or not. It made me feel guilty, thus exhausting. 

Two years a go, I found out that I have mild asperger syndrome, while today I also found out that I have mirror touch synesthesia. Those two diagnosa seems lil bit confusing because mirror touch synesthesia related to empathy while asperger syndrome usually lack of simpathy. Mirror touch syndrome that I had was related to others pain. For example, I walk on a room that filled with estranged neighbour (estranged since I don't know whose name who, but barely know their faces) for lets say, annual social gathering. Suddenly I felt my head spinning around, whereas minutes a go I was just fine. It turned out that a neighbour near me had that symptom. But if I walk away from him, my head felt at ease. Being curious, I walked back and forth just to find the correlation. If I near him, my head felt spinning, yet if I far from him, the symptom dissapear. Those kinds of situation often happens. The inductions may not come from people that I know, more often it comes from stranger ie in a hospital. *That's why I avoided hospitals, teheehee*.

Symptoms often get transferred from my family to me towards physical contact ie massage. Yes, I'm a personal masseur for my extended family. No, its not considered as affection, just as tool for dispensing "ability". If my body was not strong enough at the time I massage them, I will be more likely to absorb their pains. Those pains can get rid if I am practising breathing techniques afterward.

"So why the hell do you writing this story?", you might ask. Well, I got bullied several times on past towards the lack of knowledge about asperger syndrome or mirror touch synesthesia on my society. I am not asking for some pity. I am just asking an awareness toward those syndrome so we could get less drama on our life. Oh, last but not least, there's no such thing as normal, just a bunch of norms. Peace.